So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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