The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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