the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
