how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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