I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
