I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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