True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
