4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
