Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Randomize
