At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
