just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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