I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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