I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
