We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
