You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
