you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My pussy is not your playground.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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