barbara walters just said penis...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
