As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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