just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
