it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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