My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
