I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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