first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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