Yo dont text me then not text me
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
