Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
