we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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