He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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