I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
im six kinds of drunk right now
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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