I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The beers last night were like the tears from god
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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