We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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