I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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