Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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