hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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