I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
