Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He shit in the fireplace
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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