well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
