dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Randomize
