so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
