they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
