so let's talk penis.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
