i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
