I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
