And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
