I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
