my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
