Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Randomize
