I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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