Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
