Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
