Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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